Sorry folks that it has been so long since my last post. My youngest son has been home on leave before going to Ft. Bragg. I have been enjoying my time with him. It has been since March since I have seen him and then it was only for 2 days.
I finally got some meds to help regulate me and my thoughts. I have better days now. I don’t want to constantly cry or have the feeling of I don’t want to live. It’s a little easier to explain how I feel now. My downs don’t last as long, but they are still there. I had a bad night, the other night, and couldn’t go to sleep. Was starting to feel the manic come on. I took my meds and was tired, but just couldn’t sleep.
I sit here and watch the clouds move over the mountains and the hummingbirds fly around in my neighbor’s yard. It is so important to appreciate the beauty and simple things in life. If I had ever followed through with any of suicide plans, I would be missing out right now. The thoughts don’t ever really leave. I still have my moments and feel worthless, but they don’t last long. I can start to focus on other things and get my life back in order.
I love where God has led me and keeps leading me. I think I’m ready to see what He has in store next. I will try to keep my chin up and keep carrying on. I have a lot to be thankful for. God bless and stay strong.